HW 52

In the third part of Mortician Diaries I read more stories some tragic, some humorous, some where I just thought damn, and various other reactions as well. But in every case it is sad which makes me think, if this funeral ceremony is what we do and its suppose to a celebration of life then why is it okay for people to be sad. I understand it but its just a question that crossed my mind. One story that I thought was particularly sad is the one called "The Parents Who Missed Rejected Their Son in Life Missed His Death." It is about two men who both had the AIDS virus. The one man Gary was rejected by his parents a long time before his death because he was gay. When the mother finally came to try and make things better it was too late. But his body was still around. By his wishes though he didn't want anybody to see him be cremated. Since his signature was on he page the mother could not even see her son before he was cremated. I think that this quote which is also the last line in the story sums it up perfectly. "Sometimes in life we learn things the hardest way."(pg.108) It just shows how one mistake can leave a scaring affect to you and the people around you. But this wasn't a celebration of life. It was just death. So all these emotions are kind of just what we make of it. Another quote that really stood out to me as ridiculous, rude, disrespectful, disgusting, and a load of other similar words was on the next page. An old woman wanted to bury a dress with her husband so that he could bring it to her mother who died in heaven. ""You won't believe this, John, but I am going to tell you anyway." As I finished the explanation, he started to laugh. His laughter rolled into a roar, and I worried about him keeping his standing balance."(pg. 109) When I read this I just thought, these are the kind of people who are going to be caring for my deceased family and friends in the future. People who laugh at a simple request that may seem a little weird behind their back. It truly isn't even that funny. It just makes me want to get a permit to make a graveyard somewhere in my backyard if I were to have one with a lot of room, ect. But there aren't only bad stories that make you hate these people. In the story "The Husband Who Finally Let His Wife's Life be Celebrated", it is about a woman who has been on life support and they finally took her off. She wasn't in any condition for an open casket. Her husband didn't know how he could live without her and thats why she has been on life support for so long. But he talked of her life and let her go. But he had his own ceremony with his native people. They celebrated till late at night and it sounded like a wonderful time. "Yes, there was crying, but there was also a tremendous expression of love as they embraced and talked about the life of the loved one they had lost." (Pg. 128) I just thought that, that line was very amazing and true from what I read about. What the ideal funeral should be like.

HW 51

In the second third of the book Mortician Diaries I read a lot of really sad stories from many different families and other people such as funeral directors and others. Yet as sad as they all were there were a lot of senses of humor and happiness in a lot of them. I think that it is trying to show that with death the appreciation of life comes. To appreciate the life that has been lived and ones own life. As well as being a sad depressing day where you are suppose to morn a funeral is also the celebration of life. "People talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed the hour together with food and drink." pg. 51. Early in this passage also it said that over one hundred people were there. I feel that to get one hundred people, many of which may not even know each other in a room laughing and talking over food is one of the hardest things to do. It's kind of a shame that the death of somebody is what brings these people together. If people could just come together regularly and celebrate like that the world would be a lot happier place. I also realized that death is very cliché. In many of the stories there was a very typical beginning or turning point. Like this one said "I was barely 14 when my mother became very ill." pg. 64. I remembered hearing tons of stories just like this one before and it made me think how we're all connected. That there is always somebody out there with the same problem or similar problem and that we live in a really small world when you think about it. That lead to me to think that death connects each and every one of us.

hw 49

 Hey Lora,
I really enjoyed reading your blog post. I feel like it was very well detailed and kept me reading. To be honest when I read about the second guy I thought what the hell, but then I thought about it and realized that if your picking out a ceremony like that then your a hell of a lot more creative then most of the people I know. Also that everybody is entitled to what they want done with them, that is until its too late. I think I can relate to the first person the most because I really dont know either and its a hard choice. In order to be set on what you want to happen with your body when it dies, which seems like we have forever to choose until that day, you must have thought about it a lot.
Great post.

Hey Stephen,
Your post was really interesting. Especially to me because I don't have a sister to share my view points with. It is cool to see the viewpoints of two woman in the same family one older and one younger. Its interesting how your mom chose make up and your sister chose natural because whenever I think of mothers, daughters, and make up in one category all I can think is that typical american seen where the mother tells her daughter not to wear make up. So I liked that that wasn't the case. On the question about would you help in a prepping a family funeral I agree with both your mom and your sister. I know exactly where your sister is coming from, like why would anybody want to help put a dead loved one in a casket or whatever the situation may be. But if its part of the dead persons last will I think your mom would be right to help out with the preparation.

HW 48

The two family members I decided to interview are my grandfather and my aunt. This is a touchy subject knowing that my grandfather has been sick but I think that would make it even a better interview. The first question I asked both of them was Would you rather be buried or cremated? I asked this question because I know those are the two choices that most americans think of. My aunt said buried right away like there was no question. She said this because she doesn't want to be burned. "When your burned in my opinion its not really you, just ashes. Your not one, rather millions of little pieces of dust." I can agree with that but I feel like that is a very easy typical response. The fact that it was such an easy response means that she probably doesn't know that much about the topic. When I asked my grandfather he said the opposite. He said that he rather be cremated because thats what most of our relatives have done. This is not only true on his side of the family but on my dads side as well. "Being cremated bring you two places, your physical body is turned to ash and is put in a urn, while your spirit rises in to the sky. But who knows where it goes after that." I know that this has been well thought about especially with somebody nearing death but again its very typical american that he chose that, and thats completely fine. But if he learned what were going to learn would he think the same? I think that its interesting that my aunt and my grandfather had different opinions because they are complete opposites. In gender, age, spiritual beliefs (My grandfather being religious), where they live, and how they were raised. Personally I don't know enough about the topic to compare these beliefs to my own. But I can say that millions of Americans are definitely thinking the same way. Another question I asked was what are you most scared about when you die. Surprisingly the answers were very similar. Both of them basically said they are scared that they wont be there for their family and loved ones, and they are scared for the world. "What will the world be like without me in it?"That is a very interesting question to ask yourself because there isn't an answer. You can never know and thats the scary part. I think that isn't just a dominant question in the U.S. but one that spreads to almost if not every person on earth.

HW 46

The new unit we are working with is the care of the dead. Now that we have learned about illness and dying I find it interesting that we will get to know what happens after. I also find it cool how we jumped from the end of life to the beginning of life to the end again. I haven't really thought much about the care of the dead really. All I know is that when you die you are out in a funeral home then you are either taken to a cemetery to be buried or put in an incinerator to be cremated and the family takes the ashes. That sounds kind of nightmarish but it has never seemed like that. I think that the nightmarish atrocities are somewhere else. I just don't know nearly enough to put my finger on it. So what are the alternatives when it comes to taking care of the dead?
I expect to hear a lot of things that I haven't heard because this is my first time really dealing with the subject. I've thought of things like there are preservatives they put in the bodies to keep them fresh. Or stuff like all the people who just don't get a proper burial or cremation. What happens to those people with out families to pay for them? I know that it is really expensive to take care of the dead and thats not right. Its like these funeral homes are exploiting people because you can't just not take care of your dead loved one. So these people just use that to there advantage which also causes unequal service for all customers. Some will get the perfect treatment which still isn't that great cause that coffin is still going in the ground. Or really bad service which just makes the family feel even worse that they couldn't provide for their dead loved one and that they may need to spend the rest of there time in a cramped cheap plywood box.

comments 44

Harry,
In your project you asked questions about things that we haven't learned about so your really making this your own project which is part of the reason I was so interested. You used a source that was close to you to find out about something that not many people know about which is adopting over seas. The only thing I knew was about celebrities that have done that. Something that particularly interested me was that one of the main reasons of adopting was that there was a lawyer involved. With out that connection do you think they still would have your friend? I also never knew how hard adopting may be, you would think that with so many kids who dont have parents it would be an easy process. This matters to me because I've met many people over the years who have been adopted and I never really asked about it to much. 
Max,
I've thought about this topic a lot as well and I like how you've decided to use this. You talked about what an OBGYN actually is cause we know briefly what it was but if this is really "the enemy" in most cases then its important to know your enemy. I always really think about how does this fit in the whole society, like how it fits in this larger puzzle. This chart partly shows that by showing the salary. At first we may just think oh a lot of people must want that job because it has such a high salary but a higher salary means that more money gets to the government and the big cooperation's which continues to help build the industrial atrocities we all have been learning about.

Javon,
I really enjoyed reading your wall post. It was very interesting and we didn't get much of a chance to talk about abortion in class. I like how you interviewed somebody who had one giving us a first hand look at what an abortion may be like. You asked all the questions that would have came to my mind so I liked having my questions answered. It's interesting how just the thought of a fathers facial expression could totally change somebody's mind in a huge choice like that.
Keep up the good work.

HW 42

Dear, Chuck Schumer

            Have you ever seen the movie The Business of Being Born? Or have you ever read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth by the famous midwife Ina May. If you have then you know exactly what this letter is about and if not then I’m sure you have an idea from the titles I just named. But let me start by introducing myself, my name is Alex Feldmann and I’m attending School of the Future high school in Manhattan. In my social studies class we have been learning about how the normal may not be so normal when you know about it. One of the topics that we have been studying is childbirth in America. When most people think of childbirth they think of a couple of things that contrast. First one may think of babies and all the joy that comes with having a baby. But in the hospital the experience is a lot different. There isn’t any joy to giving birth in a hospital at all. Birth isn’t looked upon as the start of a new life and great things to come; it’s looked upon as a medical emergency and a business. But still everybody does it because it is “the safe, traditional thing to do.” Well that’s what most people think at least. But from all the research my fellow peers and I have been doing in school and at home we’ve found that this well known statement may not be true. But the good part is that there is an alternative to all business and medical emergencies. This alternative is the way humans have lived since the start and have always been meant to live and this is home birthing. From what we’ve learned about midwives and homebirths in class its possible that birth doesn’t have to be laying on your back in a room where hundreds of people have been the same and not getting the proper emotional and not even the proper physical care that woman need to give a proper birth. Birth doesn’t have to be that painful horrifying story that we have all heard since we were children. So why if birth could be like this then why do most Americans not even consider it? It is because they don’t know and it is our job as Americans to educate the people to see that all the drugs and cesarean section surgery is not how things are suppose to be. Of course there are times where these procedures are absolutely necessary and no time should be wasted but when one in three woman are getting a dangerous surgery that may not even be necessary there is a problem. If you watch the movie the business of being born you will see exactly all the things that I mean when I say we need change. When you ask a woman why they wouldn’t have a home birth they will say that they trust the hospitals more. But what is more important the “safe” environment of a hospital filled with sick people where the woman are treated as a procedure rather then individuals, or a caring loving environment which will bond a woman and her baby for their whole lives. We are scared of change but there is proof that change is okay and can only do us good in this situation. We are the only country to give birth in hospitals and everything is wrong with it. Commercials should be made to educate the typical American who may not know this stuff. We need to change what’s normal to what’s natural and what us as humans were made to do.

40

Hey Ina May, thank you for writing your own guidebook on childbirth. I think that if everybody read your book then they would also see how flawed the hospitals are and start using midwives. For me personally I've learned so much about how birth works and how it is connected with everything around us. The idea that reading positive birth stories is excellent and must definitely help change the mind set that woman have of birth being painful and horrid. 

In the last part of the book you described how the hospitals aren't really doing the right things for child birth. Unnecessary cesarean section surgery, unnecessary epidurals and other drugs, wrong positioning for the woman, and the list goes on. Sometimes these procedures may be necessary but not most of the time. Treating child birth almost like its nothing which for the doctor it isn't but for the woman giving birth it may be the most important thing of their life."The FDA banned DES for use in regnant woman in 1971, after it was found to be the cause of rare vaginal cancers in young women as well as genital abnormalities in both young women and men whose mothers were given the drug." (280) Knowing this why does the U.S. still continue to use unnatural products on the mother? Maybe in 20 years from now all people who got an epidural or were born by a mother who used it will have get a rare cancer as well. It just doesn't make sense, people are dying because the doctor is too busy to stick around for the whole day with his patient if needed. "One of the greatest influences on what happens to you during labor (especially as this relates to medical interventions, procedures, and medications) depends on whom you choose to be your caregiver." (305) If this not so difficult decision can make the difference between being strapped to a bed and cut into for extra money or having a birth that will connect a child and mother forever then why do so many woman not know? How is it possible that the public is so hidden from the truth that they cant make a decision like that? Of corse there are some exceptions for people who may need to go to a OBGYN but the other Americans need to wake up.

This book was very well formatted and interesting as a student to read. But as a normal teenage guy I don't think that I would ever pick this book off a shelf. The book doesn't need to be made better as much as who its targeted to. Pregnant woman are what it is targeted to and the most important but in order for an action like this to take real affect everybody needs to know about it. If everybody knew how wrong our system really is they would be astonished maybe even ashamed of letting this happen. As bad as that sounds it's how to start a revolution. Maybe even get on television to really let the true American know.

HW 38

So far Ina Mays Guide to childbirth has been an interesting book so far. The way it is set up is alright. It doesn't really have a strong introduction because it goes straight into birth stories. But in a way the birth stories set up the books own introduction in a unique way. Its not as much of Ina May talking at this point but as the table of contents says right now its all birth stories. This book doesn't as much ask a question but has you question yourself about what you know about birth. It makes you question stories or experiences that you have heard about or had. I think the most important point this book is trying to make is that everybody's birth experience is different. That there is no way to know what your experience will be like weather you go to the hospital or to "The Farm". It is also trying to prove that to significantly improve your birth experience a midwife may be your best choice. To prove her point Ina May gets many happy birth stories that try to empower woman to be positive when in labor. She tries to show that having a completely natural birth with a positive attitude can give you an amazing experience. I am very convinced by this because not only does she support her point with hundreds of stories as evidence but she is also "Simply put, midwife Ina May Gaskin is the most important person in maternity care in North America, bar none." As said by Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S., former director of woman's and children's health, World Health Organization.

37, Comments on 26

Stephen- I think that it was very smart how you started by compairing people who had one kid to those who have given birth more then once. Its interesting how people shun the 17 year old was shuned. You would think that she would get more attention and help because shes so young. Its very nice to here about Brooks son. That is a huge choice to make and to know your baby might come out with problems may very well be a good reason to get an abortion, but since hes normal it shows that there is a chance and one may be depriving a perfectly fine baby of life. I would like to here more on how brook was scared she could die. Its a bit funny and typical for the guys to mention the mood swings. What did the guys have to say about the mood swings?

Beatrice-it seems that in our culture the immediate thought is to go to the hospital as if there were something wrong. did you think to ask the mother whether she ever considered a home birth, as it seems from your story that she was fairly relaxed about the procedure. i like the way you told the story in a nostalgic way, as its a more interesting format to read rather than just informing the reader. although obviously it is procedure and routine to take the baby away it seems strange that immediately after birth the baby gets taken off you. we recently read something in class that talked about the 'sewing up.' this is because they make an incision between the vagina and the anus so that its easier for the mother to give birth. also i think they have recently gotten rid of the stirrups but woman are still more likely to be in the laying down legs up position. also- a vaccum extractor?!!

Initial Thoughts on Birth

Birth is the start of a new story. The beginning of the most important thing to every person. Even though it is so important it is impossible for any person to remember this event. It isn't exactly the happiest thing while it is happening though, or for the nine months that the woman is pregnant. When the woman is pregnant they literally have a tiny person who feeds and lives inside of them. They have to give up their looks, youth, and energy just to carry another person to help keep human kind going. So I wouldn't be surprised that they would act unusually. Also giving birth is one of the most painful things a woman can go through so it is not exactly a sight to see. Yet still the man normally is in the room with the doctor when it is happening. It goes from possibly the most painful horrid things for a woman to what could be the happiest moment in a families life. 

Are there alternatives to where birth is given? I have never heard of a birth that hasn't been taken in a hospital, but I know that there must be some.

What is the most widely used form of giving birth? Natural, C section, ect.

What else goes on in the room when birth is given? 

How are the babies treated in those rooms at the hospital?

How did birth in hospitals become the social norm?

Extra Credit

Last summer I had volunteered at a veterans hospital on 23rd and 1st. I had never really noticed how big it was until I went in. When I first got there I noticed that there were a lot of lower class people outside. I was guessing that they were from somewhere in the cold war like Viet Nam. They were very loud and not exactly the type of people I would want to be around. There is a lot of security when you go inside so it is a protected place. Because it was a veterans hospital there were mostly old people. Not that many people looked like they were there because they had serious illnesses. For example only a few had on the mint robe that the patients wear. Also pretty much everything you need to live is there. There is a food court, bathrooms, a souvenir shop, even a place you could get a haircut. I remember it having about 9 floors or so.

Where I worked was in the senior club room and the computer room. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be. When the seniors came they were very happy and enjoyed there time but it was almost as if they were run on a schedule. They had people to come in to entertain them like artistes and musicians. They were all very nice people but many of them forgot my name a lot. The food in the club room though is not like cafeteria food like I expected it would be. It was home made food made by the volunteers and it was quite good. I didn't really talk to many of them directly because I would be busy doing work but I did over hear on a lot of conversations. Surprisingly they weren't uncomfortable talking about the war but it wasn't often brought up. I also realized that they talk about the same issues and have similar arguments that my friends and me have. Their poetry was very deep and somewhat dark. Yet their music was very happy. They are very lively people which contrasts to the movie we watched in class.

Connecting this experience that I had to illness and dying that I have been learning has had me realize that we should let the ill or dying person decide what happens to them. Everybody is their own person and be able to decide their fate. If not don't leave it in the hands of a doctor who may know best, but it isn't the doctors job to know what the patient wants. Let the patient even choose what is done. I have also noticed that the old people I came in contact weren't really very aware of their surroundings. They seemed very happy to be in a hospital, and to get all of these things served to them.

HW 31 Comments

Evan-
I really liked your idea Evan. It was very well thought out and interesting to hear about somebody who deals with illness everyday's point of view. I think that the way the doctor is portrayed is all depending on the point of view. Of course a doctor wont think that they give false hope but somebody who criticizes doctors might. Theres usual bias behind everything. In a way I noticed that she doesn't lie or give false hope but doesn't exactly tell the whole truth which i found interesting.
Max-
I really enjoyed reading your piece. It's joyful to hear that you cousin is still living his life even with this horrible disease. I had no idea that the life expectancy was as short as it was. I agree with when you said "When you get a exact knowledge of how long you have to live, it affects the way that you can spend that time." This is very true in my opinion and reminds me of that question, if you had a day to live what would you do.
Harry-
Your topic related perfectly back to the unit. Also while I was reading it I learned some new things that interested me. Particularly about the girl who didn't get the liver transplant. I've had numbers of discussions and arguments about this with some friends and I agree that this is wrong. If that man who denied her health care sold his soul then, I'm sure he has done it hundreds of thousands of times more.
Matt B.-
I thought that this was a very nice story you told. "Life is a series of moments flashing bye but before you know it those memories fade and stories come to a close." I have thought that over so many times and it scares me a little every time I think about it. It kind of actually gives me a bit of relief to know somebody thinks the same way. I can relate to this post a lot and I really enjoyed reading it.

HW 30

I have been struggling on a topic to choose for project until the other day when I was on my way home from New Jersey. I was in the car on the way to this store to drop somebody off and we saw this girl who was running without a coat on. I thought this was a bit weird but didn't think twice about it. When I got to the train station I saw the girl again. She was tall very young asian girl; definitely still in high school. I once again didn't think why this girl may have been without a jacket. So I waited for the train and I look down the track. My eyes aren't the best so I couldn't get the best view but I saw something go into the tracks. I figured it was nothing and went on walking until i saw the train stop midway. I still didn't think twice and just thought it was stopping earlier. Then there was a scream. At that point I figured out what was going on. The girl in just the t-shirt had walked into the train as it was coming in the station. I went closer to check out what happened and I saw her laid out under the train but she was still breathing. Somebody called 911 but I noticed it took a while for an ambulance to get to the station. Nobody really knew what to do. They told all of the people waiting to go to there cars but thats why we were waiting for the train. I talked to this woman who had seen the girl up close and said the girl was crying and slowly walked into the train. Her body was pushed and then over run by the train; no blood, but it was still a gruesome site. I later found out that this girl was a sophomore in high school, and that she got in a fight with her step dad about what she wanted to do in life. It shows how such small things can cause such a big thing to happen. This moment has influenced me to write about problem that isn't easy to deal with which is suicide.
I've never seen or encountered death as close as I did that day and it scared me. To see something I can connect with better then anything else, which is another human, dying like that makes my stomach turn. It is not something I want to see again. If there was blood I probably would have been traumatized. But this made me think back to what we have been learning and left me with a question. Is suicide an illness? How can the mental part of you want to die but the physical part of you want to keep going? I know that the girls body wanted to live because she was still breathing after she was hit by the train. But what was going through her head? Could she have been relieved or realized the worst mistake she could make. Well with some research, I found no evidence that states that suicide is a mental illness but I did find out that 90% of people who kill themselves have some sort of mental disorder. Also if an illness is something that hurts the body doesn't that make suicidal intentions and suicide an illness considering it hurts the mind and at a point the body. Most people see suicide as a person who just hates life. A person who has been pushed to far to a point where it destroys them from the inside out. To the most part that isn't wrong. I thought the same way and I still have the same ideas but now since I've seen it up close I feel differently about it.
This site has very interesting facts about suicide that will be included in my presentation.
http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/suicide/suicide-facts-suicide-statistics/menu-id-68/
I've put a lot of thought into it and I have realized that there is no cure for suicide and you can't really stop it. You can only look out for the symptoms and try to help the person out before its too late. Putting a suicidal person in a hospital is not going to work because it will only make them hate the world and life more. More expensive bills to pay, death all around you, that distinct hospital smell. Nobody wants to be in a hospital, especially if they are thinking of taking there life. A better idea would be to suggest a suicide hotline or a psychiatrist. But in the end it is all up to the person.
http://www.stopasuicide.org/suicide.aspx

HW 27 Comments

Evan- I think that a great sentence was, "My father and I get her grocery every week because she is scared she will forget where she is going and have no one to help her get home. She is somewhat almost not able to go out side unless a family member of hers comes and walks with her." I think that this is a great thing that you and your father do for this woman. I can't even think about the possibility of being scared to leave my apartment. Try to work on making your sentences more beautiful.
Max- I think that the most beautiful sentence in your post was, "This surprised him and he told me that while in these situation you have to make the best out of it or else your waisting valuable time in your life." I think that this is a great way to look at this situation. It is very brave and hard to deal with and I would have responded the exact same way as you Max. Time is probably the most valuable thing that we have so it should never be wasted.