HW 52

In the third part of Mortician Diaries I read more stories some tragic, some humorous, some where I just thought damn, and various other reactions as well. But in every case it is sad which makes me think, if this funeral ceremony is what we do and its suppose to a celebration of life then why is it okay for people to be sad. I understand it but its just a question that crossed my mind. One story that I thought was particularly sad is the one called "The Parents Who Missed Rejected Their Son in Life Missed His Death." It is about two men who both had the AIDS virus. The one man Gary was rejected by his parents a long time before his death because he was gay. When the mother finally came to try and make things better it was too late. But his body was still around. By his wishes though he didn't want anybody to see him be cremated. Since his signature was on he page the mother could not even see her son before he was cremated. I think that this quote which is also the last line in the story sums it up perfectly. "Sometimes in life we learn things the hardest way."(pg.108) It just shows how one mistake can leave a scaring affect to you and the people around you. But this wasn't a celebration of life. It was just death. So all these emotions are kind of just what we make of it. Another quote that really stood out to me as ridiculous, rude, disrespectful, disgusting, and a load of other similar words was on the next page. An old woman wanted to bury a dress with her husband so that he could bring it to her mother who died in heaven. ""You won't believe this, John, but I am going to tell you anyway." As I finished the explanation, he started to laugh. His laughter rolled into a roar, and I worried about him keeping his standing balance."(pg. 109) When I read this I just thought, these are the kind of people who are going to be caring for my deceased family and friends in the future. People who laugh at a simple request that may seem a little weird behind their back. It truly isn't even that funny. It just makes me want to get a permit to make a graveyard somewhere in my backyard if I were to have one with a lot of room, ect. But there aren't only bad stories that make you hate these people. In the story "The Husband Who Finally Let His Wife's Life be Celebrated", it is about a woman who has been on life support and they finally took her off. She wasn't in any condition for an open casket. Her husband didn't know how he could live without her and thats why she has been on life support for so long. But he talked of her life and let her go. But he had his own ceremony with his native people. They celebrated till late at night and it sounded like a wonderful time. "Yes, there was crying, but there was also a tremendous expression of love as they embraced and talked about the life of the loved one they had lost." (Pg. 128) I just thought that, that line was very amazing and true from what I read about. What the ideal funeral should be like.

HW 51

In the second third of the book Mortician Diaries I read a lot of really sad stories from many different families and other people such as funeral directors and others. Yet as sad as they all were there were a lot of senses of humor and happiness in a lot of them. I think that it is trying to show that with death the appreciation of life comes. To appreciate the life that has been lived and ones own life. As well as being a sad depressing day where you are suppose to morn a funeral is also the celebration of life. "People talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed the hour together with food and drink." pg. 51. Early in this passage also it said that over one hundred people were there. I feel that to get one hundred people, many of which may not even know each other in a room laughing and talking over food is one of the hardest things to do. It's kind of a shame that the death of somebody is what brings these people together. If people could just come together regularly and celebrate like that the world would be a lot happier place. I also realized that death is very cliché. In many of the stories there was a very typical beginning or turning point. Like this one said "I was barely 14 when my mother became very ill." pg. 64. I remembered hearing tons of stories just like this one before and it made me think how we're all connected. That there is always somebody out there with the same problem or similar problem and that we live in a really small world when you think about it. That lead to me to think that death connects each and every one of us.

hw 49

 Hey Lora,
I really enjoyed reading your blog post. I feel like it was very well detailed and kept me reading. To be honest when I read about the second guy I thought what the hell, but then I thought about it and realized that if your picking out a ceremony like that then your a hell of a lot more creative then most of the people I know. Also that everybody is entitled to what they want done with them, that is until its too late. I think I can relate to the first person the most because I really dont know either and its a hard choice. In order to be set on what you want to happen with your body when it dies, which seems like we have forever to choose until that day, you must have thought about it a lot.
Great post.

Hey Stephen,
Your post was really interesting. Especially to me because I don't have a sister to share my view points with. It is cool to see the viewpoints of two woman in the same family one older and one younger. Its interesting how your mom chose make up and your sister chose natural because whenever I think of mothers, daughters, and make up in one category all I can think is that typical american seen where the mother tells her daughter not to wear make up. So I liked that that wasn't the case. On the question about would you help in a prepping a family funeral I agree with both your mom and your sister. I know exactly where your sister is coming from, like why would anybody want to help put a dead loved one in a casket or whatever the situation may be. But if its part of the dead persons last will I think your mom would be right to help out with the preparation.

HW 48

The two family members I decided to interview are my grandfather and my aunt. This is a touchy subject knowing that my grandfather has been sick but I think that would make it even a better interview. The first question I asked both of them was Would you rather be buried or cremated? I asked this question because I know those are the two choices that most americans think of. My aunt said buried right away like there was no question. She said this because she doesn't want to be burned. "When your burned in my opinion its not really you, just ashes. Your not one, rather millions of little pieces of dust." I can agree with that but I feel like that is a very easy typical response. The fact that it was such an easy response means that she probably doesn't know that much about the topic. When I asked my grandfather he said the opposite. He said that he rather be cremated because thats what most of our relatives have done. This is not only true on his side of the family but on my dads side as well. "Being cremated bring you two places, your physical body is turned to ash and is put in a urn, while your spirit rises in to the sky. But who knows where it goes after that." I know that this has been well thought about especially with somebody nearing death but again its very typical american that he chose that, and thats completely fine. But if he learned what were going to learn would he think the same? I think that its interesting that my aunt and my grandfather had different opinions because they are complete opposites. In gender, age, spiritual beliefs (My grandfather being religious), where they live, and how they were raised. Personally I don't know enough about the topic to compare these beliefs to my own. But I can say that millions of Americans are definitely thinking the same way. Another question I asked was what are you most scared about when you die. Surprisingly the answers were very similar. Both of them basically said they are scared that they wont be there for their family and loved ones, and they are scared for the world. "What will the world be like without me in it?"That is a very interesting question to ask yourself because there isn't an answer. You can never know and thats the scary part. I think that isn't just a dominant question in the U.S. but one that spreads to almost if not every person on earth.

HW 46

The new unit we are working with is the care of the dead. Now that we have learned about illness and dying I find it interesting that we will get to know what happens after. I also find it cool how we jumped from the end of life to the beginning of life to the end again. I haven't really thought much about the care of the dead really. All I know is that when you die you are out in a funeral home then you are either taken to a cemetery to be buried or put in an incinerator to be cremated and the family takes the ashes. That sounds kind of nightmarish but it has never seemed like that. I think that the nightmarish atrocities are somewhere else. I just don't know nearly enough to put my finger on it. So what are the alternatives when it comes to taking care of the dead?
I expect to hear a lot of things that I haven't heard because this is my first time really dealing with the subject. I've thought of things like there are preservatives they put in the bodies to keep them fresh. Or stuff like all the people who just don't get a proper burial or cremation. What happens to those people with out families to pay for them? I know that it is really expensive to take care of the dead and thats not right. Its like these funeral homes are exploiting people because you can't just not take care of your dead loved one. So these people just use that to there advantage which also causes unequal service for all customers. Some will get the perfect treatment which still isn't that great cause that coffin is still going in the ground. Or really bad service which just makes the family feel even worse that they couldn't provide for their dead loved one and that they may need to spend the rest of there time in a cramped cheap plywood box.

comments 44

Harry,
In your project you asked questions about things that we haven't learned about so your really making this your own project which is part of the reason I was so interested. You used a source that was close to you to find out about something that not many people know about which is adopting over seas. The only thing I knew was about celebrities that have done that. Something that particularly interested me was that one of the main reasons of adopting was that there was a lawyer involved. With out that connection do you think they still would have your friend? I also never knew how hard adopting may be, you would think that with so many kids who dont have parents it would be an easy process. This matters to me because I've met many people over the years who have been adopted and I never really asked about it to much. 
Max,
I've thought about this topic a lot as well and I like how you've decided to use this. You talked about what an OBGYN actually is cause we know briefly what it was but if this is really "the enemy" in most cases then its important to know your enemy. I always really think about how does this fit in the whole society, like how it fits in this larger puzzle. This chart partly shows that by showing the salary. At first we may just think oh a lot of people must want that job because it has such a high salary but a higher salary means that more money gets to the government and the big cooperation's which continues to help build the industrial atrocities we all have been learning about.

Javon,
I really enjoyed reading your wall post. It was very interesting and we didn't get much of a chance to talk about abortion in class. I like how you interviewed somebody who had one giving us a first hand look at what an abortion may be like. You asked all the questions that would have came to my mind so I liked having my questions answered. It's interesting how just the thought of a fathers facial expression could totally change somebody's mind in a huge choice like that.
Keep up the good work.

HW 42

Dear, Chuck Schumer

            Have you ever seen the movie The Business of Being Born? Or have you ever read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth by the famous midwife Ina May. If you have then you know exactly what this letter is about and if not then I’m sure you have an idea from the titles I just named. But let me start by introducing myself, my name is Alex Feldmann and I’m attending School of the Future high school in Manhattan. In my social studies class we have been learning about how the normal may not be so normal when you know about it. One of the topics that we have been studying is childbirth in America. When most people think of childbirth they think of a couple of things that contrast. First one may think of babies and all the joy that comes with having a baby. But in the hospital the experience is a lot different. There isn’t any joy to giving birth in a hospital at all. Birth isn’t looked upon as the start of a new life and great things to come; it’s looked upon as a medical emergency and a business. But still everybody does it because it is “the safe, traditional thing to do.” Well that’s what most people think at least. But from all the research my fellow peers and I have been doing in school and at home we’ve found that this well known statement may not be true. But the good part is that there is an alternative to all business and medical emergencies. This alternative is the way humans have lived since the start and have always been meant to live and this is home birthing. From what we’ve learned about midwives and homebirths in class its possible that birth doesn’t have to be laying on your back in a room where hundreds of people have been the same and not getting the proper emotional and not even the proper physical care that woman need to give a proper birth. Birth doesn’t have to be that painful horrifying story that we have all heard since we were children. So why if birth could be like this then why do most Americans not even consider it? It is because they don’t know and it is our job as Americans to educate the people to see that all the drugs and cesarean section surgery is not how things are suppose to be. Of course there are times where these procedures are absolutely necessary and no time should be wasted but when one in three woman are getting a dangerous surgery that may not even be necessary there is a problem. If you watch the movie the business of being born you will see exactly all the things that I mean when I say we need change. When you ask a woman why they wouldn’t have a home birth they will say that they trust the hospitals more. But what is more important the “safe” environment of a hospital filled with sick people where the woman are treated as a procedure rather then individuals, or a caring loving environment which will bond a woman and her baby for their whole lives. We are scared of change but there is proof that change is okay and can only do us good in this situation. We are the only country to give birth in hospitals and everything is wrong with it. Commercials should be made to educate the typical American who may not know this stuff. We need to change what’s normal to what’s natural and what us as humans were made to do.